Fun, fast (ish), AWD car to satisfy the frustrated racer in me (that still has to haul a family)

The WRX seems the obvious answer. The 2015 and up handles much better than earlier non-STI WRXs.

Are you sure you need AWD? Unless you drive some especially curvy roads, the GTI is more fun than the Golf R. You have more chance of getting a bad one than with a Subaru, but most are reasonably reliable.

Audis and BMWs will be considerably more expensive to maintain as they age. I generally only recommend these once over six years old to people willing and able to perform their own repairs.

WRX is a solid option, but as a 40 year old, I thought I was too old for one, so I went with a GTI in a similar predicament as yourself. Love the Golf R, but at this stage I couldn't see paying the extra $10k, so I bought a set of snow tires instead for 1k. Also, I can easily get 35mpg highway, which the R can't do.

FYI - in terms of handling if you get the performance pack GTI, it has an electronically controlled, torque sensing limited slip differential that makes the handling very good around turns. Read up on it. Most automotive journalists rave over the lsd.

Good luck! Enjoy the process and test drive some fun cars!

WRT Golf R pricing, don't just assume they sell for close to MSRP. I haven't heard what the current ones are selling for. In the past there were few buyers for a $40k Golf, so dealers ended up having to discount them to within $2k of the GTI to get rid of them. History could repeat itself in the future if it hasn't already.

I reviewed the GTI against the Focus ST here.

I've only driven the Focus RS briefly, one lap around a track, but even that clearly suggested it's a more hardcore car than the others discussed here. Beyond the STI, about at the same level as the discontinued Mitsubishi Evo. A lot of fun, but reviewers who have driven them on the street tend to report that the ride is far too firm.

MAB007 I retract my statement about being too old at 40 for a WRX :). Being an architect and business owner I'm probably way too image conscious and worrisome about what my clients think.....and the versions I generally see are all stanced up and have giant wings. My wife drove a 14' Impreza for a couple of years and if they only made a 5 door WRX again without the wing, I might consider it. I do strongly prefer the interior of the VW, but I think Subaru is improving that with the new version.

I've enjoyed reading these comments by all.

One car you may want to consider is an infiniti sedan. I used to race Corvettes (and still have 2), but my daily driver is a 2006 Infiniti M35X. I bought it used, it has been a very reliable car, has good pickup, is quick, very luxurious, and gets 20mpg. The newer ones get better mileage because they put 6 speeds in them, mine is a 4.
It is automatic, but you can go into manual mode to "play", but in traffic, auto is so much better.

Get an "X" model, it is AWD and has a very secure feeling on wet/snow roads. Just something else to look at.
I have 140k on mine and the engine/tranny don't show any sign of slowing down... Lots of creature comforts like leatherheated/cooled seats, sunroof, premium sound system, and has a big trunk. It just looks way better than many of these other cars too, in my opinion.

Good luck.

As former racing school instructor who likes the ingress of getting into something is not a foot off of the ground, the Buick Envision Premium has allot to offer. It has a slightly narrow chassis which helps offset it's weight. The torque vectoring AWD provides a very neutral grip on highway ramps with traction control off.

But when you are in between the turns the ride is relaxed and Buick's Quiet Tuning works wonders to save your hearing. The rear axle disengages at 44 mph to give you 30+ at highway speeds. The 2.0T has plenty a scoot and can further be enhanced with a ecu tune.

But if you are still hankering for a sedan, the ATS4 2.0T with automatic 6-speed is ready for anything road going curves or track duty you can throw at it.