A highly reliable manual AWD wagon that's light enough to feel nimble might not exist. If it does, I'd like one myself.
E46s are too old to be more reliable than a recent Golf R.
Would be nice if the Volvo V70 R was more nimble and more reliable, but of course they aren't. A Saab 900 Turbo X is somewhat more nimble than the Volvo, but reliability and parts availability can't be counted on. And can one even be found?
I imagine a Subaru isn't upscale or refined enough.
A Ford Focus RS is nicer inside and feels more substantial than a Subaru, and they're certainly fun to drive, but I wouldn't count on one's reliability, especially considering how such a car tends to be driven.
Aside from the above your only options are German, or at least German-owned. So beyond the first few years reliability is a crapshot. Most are okay, but when they're bad they can be really bad. Any chance a Mini Clubman would do the trick for you?
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