The Toyota Highlander is the most reliable midsize SUV. It is comfortable and practical. It is the most family friendly SUV on this list. It isn't exciting, but none of these are. I would maybe get a fully loaded 2017 Limited Platinum Certified Pre-owned to save some money and get a better equipped car. It is the same car as the 2018, but not the 2016 and older.
You could take a look at the 2018 Kia Sorento. It comes with a 100k mile/10 year powertrain warranty. I have spent some time in an SX-L and I thought it could have been a luxury SUV. It is smaller than most midsizers. The Sorento was recently refreshed. If you drive less than 100k miles within 10 years, this might be the car for you because all powertrain repairs will be free.
The Honda Pilot Touring and Elite trims have a 9 speed auto transmission that is having problems. Every trim except the top two have a better 6 speed. The car is really good otherwise. It is more stylish than the Highlander and the Sorento.
The Chevy Traverse is one of the best family SUVs right now except reliability ratings are low and the interior quality is inferior to most midsize SUVs. It is one of the biggest midsize SUVs.
A minivan is the best car for a family. They hold more people in comfort and have much more cargo space while getting better MPGs. The only thing they can't do is off road and tow over 3500 lbs. The only minivan with AWD is the Toyota Sienna. The 2018 Honda Odyssey is the best minivan right now.
Honda timing belts need to be replaced every 105k miles. We are being quoted $900 at an independent shop for our 2002 Odyssey and are debating paying for the replacement because my wife is getting a new car soon. I don't see this as a reason to not buy a Honda because all cars need maintenance.