If I were you, I would get a new Odyssey if you need a car quickly. If I didn't need a car quickly, I'd wait for the new Sienna Hybrid or possibly the new Kia Sedona.
I would take the Chrysler off the list because of reliability, unless you want to get a long extended warranty. Also, they depreciate very quickly, but if you keep your cars for a long time that won't matter. Your friends' stories of their Pacificas are anecdotal.
The current Sedona is a little old now and is a little small in the third row, but not a huge deal. I would personally get the current Sienna over the Sedona I think.
If you want to get a truly freshly designed modern car, look at the Kia Telluride and Hyundai Pallisade SUVs. They are excellent cars that are universally praised. They have a big backseat, but don't have the sliding doors which I love.
The current Sienna will likely be the most reliable and long lasting. All the safety features are standard, the powertrain is one of the best, and it is roomy inside. It is dated like you said though. The Sienna is on a whole other level with reliability compared to any of the other minivans. None of the other minivans have a track record with their powertrains and electronics.
I wouldn't hesitate to buy the first year of a resesigned Toyota. They are almost always reliable in their first model year unlike many other brands. Their hybrid system is more proven than most powertrains in the world. For this reason, I would get the new Sienna Hybrid as my first pick for sure. It will definitely be out of your $25k budget, however.
The Odyssey is refreshed for 2021, but the 2018-2020 are very similar. I recommend a CPO 2019 Odyssey so you don't get the first year of the redesign.