The Toyota Highlander would be the best option on your list because it will run for a very long time if it is taken care of. However, the Toyota Sienna is just as reliable and has a lot more space. I would totally go for the Sienna over the Highlander if I had five kids. You don't want to put three kids in car seats in the second or third row of a Highlander. All cars will be similarly safe and efficient. The minivans and Volvo would be expected to fare better in a crash.
If you really want efficiency, the Highlander Hybrid is available, but don't get one too old because the batteries age with time, not mileage. I wouldn't recommend this option as this hybrid system was a little less efficient than the Prius at the time, even considering the large size of the Highlander.