Take a long, hard look at the Subaru Outback. Properly equipped, you can find one with your wish list, including the rearview camera. Some may not think it looks sporty, but I do. Maintenance will be inexpensive, and it will be a long lasting vehicle. Every time you think about trading it you will talk yourself out of it. Fuel mileage will not be stellar (not bad, but there are others out there that fare better) due to the all wheel drive, but the level of confidence when driving in bad weather conditions is worth the trade off. My wife drove my son to an ice hockey tournament in the NC mountains during a rare snow storm in her Outback. 4 wheel drive Ford Explorers were pulling off the mountains roads to turn around and she blew up the roads at 45 mph. And she is a wimp driver.
Second place would be the VW Jetta Sportwagen. Get the TDi if you want 45-50 mpg. The new style diesels that have been around for a while are getting better since they have lowered the fuel pressure. It putts along nice and quietly, but if you need to get out into traffic simply press the accelerator and the turbo boost gets you there in short order. Maintenance will be a bit higher since it is German designed, but take care of it and it will last a long time. The diesel engine will outlast you.
While I loved my VW Touareg, I find the Tiguan to be a bit too small.