The CX-9 drives great, but reliability hasn't been that good. I would only consider it if you really want a big SUV that handles well and has a very nice interior that belongs in a $60k SUV. If I was looking for a midsized crossover, this would be the one I would buy. However, there are other more reliable and practical options. Infotainment is the main problem area. CarPlay is not available on the Mazda.
The Highlander has the most HP of the three, but it doesn't feel like it. It is the most reliable midsized crossover and has every safety feature standard on every trim. It has the most practical interior in my opinion. It handles better than the Pilot, but still isn't that nimble. Resale value is really good, about the same as the Pilot. I would put the Highlander in your top 3. CarPlay isn't available on the Highlander either.
I like everything about the Pilot except it has an unreliable and rough 9 speed transmission in the top two trims and a buggy infotainment system. It is one of the faster SUVs in the class and the interior is practical and more luxurious than the Highlander. It has CarPlay and Android Auto.
I suggest you test drive the Kia Sorento. It rides very well, is reliable, has a nice interior, and has a lot of standard safety features. It has CarPlay and Android Auto. I was impressed with this car when I drove it and auto journalists like it, too. It has a 10 yr/100k mile powertrain warranty. Resale value is less than average. It is on the smaller side, so, as with all of these SUVs, try to fit your kids/adults in the 3rd row before buying.
Some advice:Minivans are SO much better at fitting things in the trunk. 100% of the time they have a larger and easier-to-access 3rd row of seats compared to SUVs. They get better gas mileage and handle just as well or better than SUVs (depending on which one). If you are looking for an AWD minivan, the Sienna is the only one. SUV prices are inflated right now because everyone wants one (gas prices are low-ish). Dealers will be more willing to discount minivans. Minivans are built in with more family-friendly features. You miss out on a lot when going with an SUV. The only benefit of an SUV is people like the exterior look of them more. SUVs are just impractical minivans underneath the sheetmetal.